Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Learn to Let It Go


I love music and there are more than a handful of songs I feel like I can relate to, especially when it comes to MS. There is one in particular though that just hits me harder than others. It’s not by an artist I listen to super often, but her words really resonate with me and my MS story. The song is called, Learn To Let It Go, and it’s by Kesha.

MS held me as a prisoner for too long

Every single one of the lyrics, which I’ve posted below, are incredibly relatable. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis as a teenager and it held me as a prisoner for far too long. It caused many years of bitterness. For too long I wore a “mask”, not letting anyone know what was going on behind my fake grin. I kept hiding, too, until one day it was all too much, and I broke down. One day I snapped, and it took a long time for me to turn my life back around! As Kesha says in the song, my s**t hit the fan. But, as I’ve learned along the way, you don’t have to to be a victim. This life isn’t fair, life with MS isn’t fair, but just because I’ve been dealt this card in life doesn’t mean I’m going to live any differently.

Monday, May 13, 2019

It’s My Choice



I’ve learned since my diagnosis that there are a lot of people who like to voice their opinions on what I can and cannot do… and all I can really say is, it’s my choice…

I get to choose how I want to live my life with this disease. I love others input, but that’s all it is… someone’s opinion… I will take it in and acknowledge it and appreciate those who care enough to voice their opinion.

However, it’s my choice in the end. It’s my body, my illness, and my decision.

Have you ever felt “pressured” into a decision, not just with something to do with your MS, but life in general? Being pressured into making a decision is NOT a good feeling and it leaves doubts in your head, and at times regrets.

While there is great advice out there, we must make the right decision for OURSELVES!

Our decisions when it comes to MS, may take time to make… we have a lot to think about, because it does concern not only our future, but also our health. These types of decisions are not easily made.
So, if someone gives me his or her advice, more than once… it annoys me. Just because I haven’t made a choice yet, doesn’t mean I have disregarded the advice or anything like that, but our decisions with MS cannot be a spur of the moment type of thing. It’s not like… “Hey how about we have pizza for dinner?” and you respond within a minute with a “yes” or “no”…

I mean it’s already difficult making a decision that has to do with your MS, but if you factor in the cognitive issues (if you have the “pleasure” of that symptom) … it takes us a long time to really think on what we want to do.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t feel like you have to rush in to decisions… or do something because others feel it’s the right decision for you…

It’s your body… It’s your mind… It’s your choice.

xoxo
Ashley Ringstaff

Monday, May 6, 2019

When Hope Is Not Enough


I was diagnosed with primary progressive multiple sclerosis in 2001, purchased my first wheelchair in 2008, and by 2016, I could best be described as a quadriplegic. I’m in rough shape.

The issue of my worsening disability rarely comes up in polite conversation. On those occasions when it does, well-intentioned people, restrained by propriety, offer sentiments like, “One day they’ll find a cure, Mitch. Don’t give up hope.”

I need something more than hope

Hope. It is a concept no less hallowed than peace, love, or faith. I don’t question anyone’s sincerity when they prescribe it for me. Because I suffer from a chronic, incurable disease, however, I find hope routinely over-promises and under-delivers. Hope is not enough. I need something more, and I’ve found it.