Body Image

Body image. Almost everyone worries about how they look, it’s just human nature. But, in today’s society with perfection surrounding you on social media, it’s even easier to get caught up in being consumed with how you look. Having a disease like MS, where your body doesn’t always function the way it shouldand subsequently can affect the way you look, having a positive body image can prove difficult.

All I can see is everything negative

I began having pretty significant issues with my body image and self-esteem at the ripe old age of 12, so right around puberty. Pretty normal, right? I was just like any other preteen girl with low self-esteem until I was diagnosed with MS at 14 and those feelings amplified. I’ve never been a huge fan of what I’ve seen in the mirror. It doesn’t matter if I’ve been told I’m the most beautiful girl in the world that day – when I look in the mirror, 90 percent of the time I am unhappy with what I see. I feel like even on days that I’m feeling good and pretty confident that as soon as I look into the mirror it’s like a black fog comes and all I can see is everything negative about myself. And one day it clicked. I find that a lot of the negativity I feel towards my body image is attributed to MS.

The Lies vs. the Truth

MS likes to feed lies to me daily. And I know I can’t be the only one. So, today I wanted to remind you of the truth. Remind you to stop believing the lies that MS likes to whisper in our ears. These lies can manifest in our minds quickly, but it’s up to us to stop accepting them and to shoot them down.

Lie number one: You are not enough.

I feel this way a lot. I’m not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not strong enough. A big part of MS for me is that it affects my self-esteem. I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see. I don’t like the tremors that have caused me to want to hide in shame. I don’t like the lines and wrinkles from the worry and stress of what’s to come. I don’t like the dents in my stomach and upper thighs from years of injections. The list goes on. But, each day when I look in the mirror, and I am fed the lie “You are not enough,” I try to beat that thought down before it even reaches the surface completely. And, I tell myself these truths instead:

The truth: I AM enough

I am beautiful in my own way; I am smart, and heck yes, I am strong! My tremors are visible and embarrassing, but they WILL NOT define me. Those lines and wrinkles? Those dents from injections? They’re my battle scars. They show that for my young age, I’ve fought hard to get where I am today. They show that although I’ve been through some low times, I have fought my way back up, and I have had to endure pain to maximize my overall health.

SOME BENEFITS OF LIFE WITH MS

When it comes to thinking, and even writing, about life with Multiple Sclerosis, it’s incredibly easy to focus on the negatives. I know I personally cover a lot of unpleasant topics, not because I’m pessimistic, but because I feel they need to be talked about. I also feel that when someone else reads about what they are going through from someone who has experienced it, it can be comforting, and even a positive experience. All of that said, I think it’s important to remind myself, and others, that it isn’t all doom and gloom. That life with MS has had some positives for me, too.

Appreciation

Living with Multiple Sclerosis for so much of my life has really taught me to appreciate even the smallest parts of it. I really feel like I wouldn’t really appreciate life this much had I not had so much taken from me. There is just something about having your life so uprooted by something out of your control that helps you recognize and love the small things. Living with a condition that may make you wake up one morning unable to walk really makes you appreciate everything from a small breeze to a cold beer. I’m not sure I’d be as appreciative had I not had this disease (I certainly wasn’t before I got it), so that’s something I can be thankful for.